How do I get my fiance to buy me a gift??

We are engaged and 3 months ago had our first (and last) child. My labour was very traumatic. Since I gave birth my fiance has not given me a gift of anything. I recently bought our wedding bands and showed him. I have actually bought him a lot of little gifts since she was born but he has not given me one single gift. What do I do?? How can I get him to give me a gift?? I feel unappreciated. After her birth I recieved flowers from all of my family but did not get one single thing from him. I am annoyed and am re-thinking our engagement.

How do I get my fiance to buy me a gift??
Tell him how you feel. Many people screw up their lives because they are not honest with their partners. If you can't show love and receive love, then why are you together. You have to be sure that he will value you. Just understand that there are many love languages. He may not be one to buy gifts, but shows his love in other ways. Communicate your needs to him and at the very least, you will know where you stand.
Reply:gift

–noun

1. something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.



The key word here is voluntarily. You cannot make someone give you a gift. I am sorry you feel unappreciated--perhaps you should just tell your fiance how you feel. Don't pressure him to buy you something; he won't be doing it for the right reasons. Do you really want him to give you something so badly that you don't care that the only reason he's giving it to you is because you made him do it?



If you are willing to break off the engagement because he doesn't buy you presents, then you are being quite silly. A lot of men just don't think the way women do. It may have just never occurred to him that he needed to give you anything. Maybe he does not think materialistically. There could be a million reasons, and you won't know until you talk to him about it. I think you are overreacting, because you are still quite emotional about the birth of your child. (I'm sure he's also got a lot of adjusting to do!)
Reply:I wonder if it is really a gift youre after, or that you want him to show you his love %26amp; appreciation. Not everyone is into giving/receiving gifts, but they show their love in other ways. I think you should be honest with him, tell him you would like him to show his love more. Whether it comes in the form of a gift or some other way like verbally, should not be the important thing.
Reply:I don't think this is so much about a gift as it is about feeling unappreciated. Honey, if you can't talk to him about feeling unappreciated, then you should re-think the wedding. How can you marry a man that you can't talk to about your feelings, particularly when they're hurt ones?



Also, this feeling may be coming from post-partum depression, or at least the fluctuating hormones from pregnancy and birth. Please ask your doctor about it.
Reply:Please please read the book "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman (heartfelt commitment....and so on, not the others).... your love language is receiving gifts (obviously)- and this book says that you act out what you really want... so in this case you are buying your fiance gifts when you are the one who wants them. His love language is probably different though- gifts might not be what he needs to be satisfied- and to have his "love tank" full. there are 4 others- physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service along with the receiving gifts. Does he ask you for anything a lot? This book was so good I read it in 2 days... my fiance and I have to read this book for our pastor and then have a meeting. But I really recommend it for everyone, not just couples about to be married!



Your fiance needs to learn your love language too- and once he does, and you know his, you can learn to please one another and stay happy :)



I too had a VERY traumatic labor experience myself. I too said that would be my last child (but you never know)... I now want more in the future. It takes time to heal, and once you see your little one grow and how much love they have for you- wow it brings tears to my eyes- my son was SO worth every pain I had through my long labor then my c-section.



Good luck, and I really do wish you the best- I think if you read this book, it will help tremendously!!!
Reply:You certainly have things backwards. Two kids before marriage? Then thinking of walking away from him because you didn't get a gift? How old are you? 12!



If life is this hard with him now, them maybe you should give the kids up for adoption and start over by yourself. Relationships are suppose to be about being there for one another, not what you get as a gift.
Reply:If you have a newborn and your worrying about who is and who is not buying you gifts you need to get your priorities straight. And if your the one paying for the wedding bands and he's not there to help pick them out, sounds like he's not too jazzed about the wedding. Thing about the engagement, and not just because he doesn't buy you presents. You have a kid now, time to stop being so materialistic and grow up.
Reply:So maybe hasnt giving you anything materialistic but what about other things! Has he cleaned the house to help you out maybe cooked dinner or let you take a breif nap and he tended to the child?? I mean these little things is how my fiance showed his love and appreciation for me when we had our children! Maybe talked to him about this you dont want to marry someone you cannot communicate with :)
Reply:I understand how you feel. Even though love isn't about gift-giving and it's more about caring about someone unconditionally, sometimes we all want our significant others to show how much they appreciate us. It's only human nature. Maybe if you try telling him about how much you want a certain item, he'll realize how important it is to you and get you that whether on your birthday or a holiday or even a regular day.

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